Thursday, December 2, 2010

Don't Try to Solve It: What Our Girlfriends Can Teach Us About College Football

(Lindsey and I talking on the phone after work...)

Lindsey:  So, my meeting got moved to tomorrow.
Me:  So that's good, right?
Lindsey: No, it means the client has another day to pick at my deck and make changes.
Me: Oh...Well at least you have that dinner tomorrow with Liz, right?
Lindsey: Yeah, if I get out of work in time, which I probably won't.
Me: Well, just talk to your boss, I'm sure she'll understand.
Lindsey: Babe, the meeting. I have to get ready for the meeting. Don't you listen to anything?
Me: Won't it just be little tweaks at that point?
Lindsey: Just stop trying to solve the problem, OK?! Let me be upset!

Just let her be.
Of all the things I don't understand about women, conversations like these might be number one. Sometimes women honestly just WANT to be upset about things. They don't us want to fix it, they just want it to suck. I've dated Lindsey for three years now, and this still makes no sense to me.

Yet, as I listen to another year of bickering over who deserves to play for college football's national championship, I'm starting to think it explains the BCS system perfectly. I mean, what other good reason is there for us not having a playoff? Here are some of the ones I hear most often:

-It would make the regular season less important.
Really? How so? It seems to me the only change to the regular season is that MORE games would be important. How many more people would've watched Saturday's (amazing) Oklahoma-Oklahoma St. game if they knew the winner would make the 16-team playoff and the loser wouldn't? Tons.

-It wouldn't bring in as much money.
This is the reason everyone suspects is behind the BCS's shocking endurance, because as Americans we've learned that when something isn't fair, it's probably because of money. Strangely enough, this isn't the case here. Everyone stands to cash in from a playoff -- the networks, the bowls, the NCAA, the conferences, the teams, and if done properly, there's even a way it can even help the players.

-More games would give kids less time to study.
My buddy Marshall and I came up with a solution for this: Use the extra revenue generated to give football players an extra year of tuition. This would allow them to take lighter course loads in-season, knowing they'll have an extra year to catch up. (I'm sure there's a reason this can't work, but it sounded good at the time.)
-More people are against a playoff than you think.
There are lots of polarizing issues in this country, but this simply isn't one of them. The percentage of people who DON'T think college football should have a playoff is up there with the percentage of people who think the country should be run by goldfish.

So with all the other reasons ruled out, the only possible conclusion I can come to is that college football doesn't WANT us to solve their problem. They just want everyone to be upset.

Is college football secretly run by our girlfriends???

Weekend Picks

Eagles (-8) vs. Texans (Thurs, 8:00 ET). Houston finally played some defense last week...against Rusty Smith. It won't be so easy against Michael Vick.

South Carolina (+6) vs. Auburn (Sat, 3:30 ET). If Auburn and Oregon win, then there's not much to argue about this year. I don't think college football gets off that easy.

Oregon State (+17) vs. Oregon (Sat, 4:00 ET). Oregon just needs to win to play for the national championship, so I picture them winning this in unusually "civil" fashion.

Connecticut (+2) @ South Florida (Sat, 8:00 ET). A win here and UConn officially becomes the worst team ever to make a BCS bowl. I love it. Go Huskies!

Bills (+6) @ Vikings (Sun, 1:00 ET). Bills have quietly covered their last 6 spreads, and Steve Johnson is due for some divine intervention.

Rams (-3.5) @ Cardinals (Sun, 4:15 ET). St. Louis continues to be undervalued, and Arizona...yikes.

Last Week: 2-4
Season: 34-37-2