Friday, February 11, 2011

The FVG Apocalypse: A Valentine's Day Super Bowl

Now you've really pissed him off.
When the NFL settles its labor dispute (whether this year or the next) there's a strong likelihood we'll have an 18-game regular season. Polls currently show 27% of NFL players are in favor, and roughly 250% of NFL fans. Girlfriends everywhere are cringing.

But they haven't even considered the worst part.

According to proposals I've read, the season would start two weeks earlier (replacing the last two preseason games) and end two weeks later, culminating with a President's Day Weekend Super Bowl. Federal law requires President's Day to be the third Monday of February, which means once every seven years, President's Day is February 15th.

Which means once every seven years, the Super Bowl would be February 14th.

Oh my.

A Valentine's Day Super Bowl. The one game girlfriends will always let their boyfriends watch vs. the one night boyfriends will always do whatever their girlfriends say. I don't care what teams play that Sunday: This matchup is waaay better.

So, what gives in this doomsday scenario? I honestly have no idea. In my life I've come across three types of females: Women who like football, women who tolerate football but wish there were less of it, and women who wish football as a sport would collectively tear an ACL.

Most women fall into category two. This would piss off all three.

Valentine's Day is her day. Don't tread on it. Don't get me wrong, no one wants more weeks of football more than I do.

But for that once-every-seven-years, Perfect Storm/Armageddon/Apocalypto/Mel Gibson/George Clooney/Ben Affleck/wrapped-into-one scenario, do us all a favor:

Play the Super Bowl on Saturday.