Rebuilding Mode Nears Completion

Three years ago today, the general manager of my wardrobe (Me) was relieved of his duties, and a new GM (Lindsey) took over. I retained my duties as head coach.

Since then, a long, gradual overhaul has ensued.

That's Ms. General Manager to you.

She started where she believed any rebuilding process should: jeans. Gap Baggy Fit became Seven Standard Fit. Then looser button-downs were replaced with leaner ones. Sneakers became "casual shoes". Oversized sweaters were tossed and burned. Nothing was safe, not even socks.

It was an uneasy transition at first. There were a few "what the f--- are you trying to do me?" moments. But the coach soon learned to trust the GM, knowing that what she wanted was what's best for him and the team.

It hasn't been easy, but rebuilding never is. After all, you have to change the whole culture of the team. I hardly had any interest in shopping when I was the one making the decisions, let alone when I became essentially a moving mannequin.

She mainly rebuilt through the draft: Christmases and Birthdays. Each new year brought in a talented crop of fresher, trendier clothing. Every time a starting-lineup-worthy shirt entered the roster, the one on the end of the rack got the pink slip.

As head coach, I'm still learning to work with my new personnel. Sometimes I'll mistakenly wear a polo shirt with boots. Or a blazer that isn't in season. Or a Ralph Lauren sweater, ever. One day we'll live together and I'll be stripped of my morning wardrobe choosing duties, too. Can't wait.

And I will say this: Chad, Weissman, and my other clothes-conscious friends don't really make fun of my clothes anymore. And Ramsey (who, like me, has no clue) sometimes does, which is I guess a good thing. I'm at the point now where almost everything I put on is something that was either bought by Lindsey, with Lindsey, or bought by a third-party with Lindsey's approval. It's just a matter of acquiring the final pieces and putting them all together.

And once that happens, look out.


Picks

Arkansas (+3) vs. Ohio State (Tues, 8:30 ET). I don't understand how the five OSU players "promised" to come back next year. Does Jim Tressel really think they won't change their mind?

Saints (-10.5) @ Seahawks (Sat, 4:30 ET). We've never seen a line like this before. A 10.5 road favorite in the playoffs? We've also never seen a team as bad as Seattle make the playoffs, either.

Colts (-2.5) vs. Jets (Sat, 8:00 ET). I know the Jets made a nice playoff run last year, but lightning won't strike twice against Peyton Manning at home.

Ravens (-3) vs. Chiefs (Sun, 1:00 ET). The Ravens beat the Dolphins twice in this exact same scenario (first-round playoff game, three-point road favorite). This year's Chiefs remind me of both those Dolphins teams.

Packers (+2.5) @ Eagles (Sun, 4:00 ET). Not sure Vick's healthy for this game, whether he admits it or not.

Oregon (+3) vs. Auburn (Mon, 8:30 ET). Leaning toward the Ducks at this point, mostly just looking forward to watching.

Last Week: 2-2
Season: 42-44-3