Thursday, March 10, 2011

"I Don't Envy the Committee"

"It's not easy watching sports all day, Dan. Let me tell ya."
Has Notre Dame's late-season surge earned them a 1-seed?
Has Colorado played themselves off the bubble?
Does Lindsey truly know how much basketball I'll be watching next Thursday-Sunday?
Do employers really think we're sick/have family engagements when we don't show up next Thursday or Friday or both?

With March Madness finally upon us, there's lots of questions to be answered. But one thing's for certain: At some point, when discussing which teams the Tournament Selection Committee should or shouldn't put in the tournament, a college basketball analyst will look into our eyes and say:

"First of all, let me tell ya: I don't envy the committee and the job they have to do!"


The committee's "job" is to watch as much college basketball as possible, perhaps take a few notes, and then meet with their fellow committee members to collectively make basketball decisions the rest of us eagerly salivate over. If at any point their girlfriend were to walk into their "office" and say, "Are you really just gonna sit here and watch basketball all day?", they could respond, "Sorry, honey, now isn't a good time. I'm working."

Stop me when I get to the part that isn't awesome.

Now, I have no idea who these mysterious committee members actually are. Maybe they have another job on top of this one. Fine. But I'm guessing that one ain't too bad either. You don't qualify to be on the Selection Committee because you did a really good job roller-skating to people's windows at Sonic. Any way you slice it, these are people who spend their lives designer-suit-deep in college basketball, and get paid handsomely for it. Which brings me to my next point.

Look at the people saying they don't envy the committee. What do they have in common? That's right -- their jobs are awesome too! Dick Vitale presumably spends his days watching basketball, ordering room service, talking about basketball, and waxing his head. It's hard to imagine him envying anybody. This is like one Senator saying they "don't envy" the job of another. Guess what -- you both got it pretty good.

All I'm saying is this: No matter what Dickie V or any other talking head says in the coming days, I do envy the committee.

And I'm guessing I'm not alone.